Busyness and the lack of margin in our lives

Busyness and the lack of margin in ur livesBusyness and the lack of margin in ur livesOne of the most common maladies in the 21st century is living lives that feel stressed and chronically overwhelmed. We are busy, tired, and we feel stretched there always landseems to be mora to do than we have time or energy.When demands appear to be greater than ur resources, the result in our lives is stress. We feel stressed in different areas of life time, physical and emotional energy, relational demands and finances. Stress then displays itself in our lives in a variety of ways irritability, anxiety, not eating well, poor sleep habits, not exercising regularly, making hasty (and usually, poor) decisions.A number of years ago, Dr. Richard Swenson wrote a wonderful book entitled, Margin Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial, and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives where he convincingly demonstrates how not leaving extra space in our lives (with our time, energy and finances) creates significa nt, but predictable stress for us.The concept of margin is based on the premise that it is wise to leave space in our lives to deal with the unexpected or unplanned events that may arise. This is in contrast with our tendency to pack our schedule full, or (as some people frame it) to make the most of our time.Just in case you need an example, in daily life, let me cite a coupleWorking full days, plus filling the evenings with meetings or activities (kids sports, etc.), and then having a full schedule of activities for the weekend. Repeat this pattern over several weeks until you either become exhausted or sick.Stretching the budget to buy a little nicer house, in a neighborhood with good schools stretching things a bit further to have the kids in private school or in numerous sports and lessons and then splurging a bit to spring for that nice vacation that you really cant afford but the kids are only young once.The problem is life is interrupted by the unexpected. If we plan and sc hedule our days, weeks and lives with no room for the unexpected, then the stress in our lives dramatically escalates when the unexpected occurs.So what types of things often occur in daily life that we havent learned to expect?traffic jam on the way to an important appointmentthe printer breaks down before a critical presentationone of your children gets sicka major client calls with a problem.Other common needs for margin (but less daily and more seasonal)getting sick, having an auto accident, or the car breaks downfamily events illness, death, accidentstechnology breakdowns computer/pad, phone, websiteweather travel delays, flooding, blizzards, tornadoes, hurricanesglobal national events terrorism, war, economic meltdowns.The likelihood of one or more of these events happening in the near future is actually fairly high (although we cannot predict which ones specifically). Interestingly, there are also positive events in our lives that place demands on our resources and suck up our margin weddings, births, graduations, moving, professional opportunities. So it is not always negative events that create stress in our lives.The Results of Living Without MarginWhat happens when we continue to live in a manner that doesnt leave room for the unexpected? Pretty obvious results, actually increased stress, irritability, tension, poor communication, relational conflict, being chronically late, missing important events, not being adequately prepared for meetings, poor quality work, frustration and anger, guilt, loss of sleep, depression.Why Do We Do It?If we have a fairly good idea that there will be unexpected events in our lives that will take additional time, energy and money to deal with, why dont we allow for them? I think there are different reasons for different people (or at different times in our lives). The following isnt an exhaustive list, but is a startUnrealistic expectations about life. Believing that life will continue to go on as it has, without dis ruption.Being fearful and anxious about the future, which drives a frenetic pace to do as much as you can today (the you can never save enough syndrome).A pleasure and stimulation seeking approach to life some people live for excitement and adrenaline. They also often have an inability to enjoy inactivity, peace, or just to rest.Survival. Although this is not true for most of us, there are people who have to work long hours (both for money and at home) just to provide for themselves and their families.Other negative driving factors in our lives workaholism, greed, excessive desire for achievement.How Do We Start to Change (and Live a More Sane Life?)Change starts with awareness and acceptance of a problem. If we dont think how we are living creates problems for us, our family or our business, then we wont change. So it might be wise to start with an honest appraisal. Take a look at your life and see if the occurrence of unexpected events are fairly common in your life and create s tress because you dont allow space in your life to deal with them.Next, pull out your calendar for the next week and month. Are there any unscheduled blocks of time (during the workday, evenings, weekends) or is your calendar already packed? In what arenas of your life do you tend to live close to the edge? With your time? Finances? Physical and emotional energy? Take stock of the beliefs that push you to live without margin. Develop a plan to explore and correct the distortions you have.Remember, we were not designed to live life under constant, unrelenting pressure. Take a deep breath. Look around you and identify something that is beautiful. Take a walk and enjoy the outdoors. Pause and give thanks for the good things in your life. And put some time in your schedule to do nothingRecently, in the closing session of the Recognition Professionals International conference, I talked aboutbusynessand how it is one of the major threats to healthy workplaces today. For more information a bout reducing busyness in the workplace, see my bookThe Vibrant Workplace, where I devote a whole chapter to the issue.This article was originally published on Appreciation at Work.